ALIEN ABDUCTION TEST
CHECK YOUR CLOSE ENCOUNTER STATUS
Missing time? Strange memories? Unexplained fear of bright green lights?
The Alien Abduction Test is a funny, boxed novelty experience for anyone who suspects they may have had a close encounter they cannot quite explain.
[CLAIM YOUR FREE DIGITAL ABDUCTION CERTIFICATE]
[HOW IT WORKS]
HAVE YOU BEEN ABDUCTED?
Maybe you woke up feeling like something happened.
Maybe the clock skipped an hour.
Maybe your neighbors have been acting suspiciously normal.
One test may help explain your weirdest memories.
WHAT’S INSIDE
• Alien Abduction Test strip
• Saliva collection materials
• Close Encounter Incident Report
• Instructions for your abduction-status check
• QR access to claim your free digital certificate
EASY AS 1-2-3
- OPEN THE POUCH
Remove your Alien Abduction Test strip. - PLACE SALIVA ON THE STRIP
Follow the included instructions and submit your evidence. - REVEAL YOUR ABDUCTION STATUS
Study the results carefully. The truth may be out there.
POSSIBLE RESULTS MAY INCLUDE
• DEFINITELY ABDUCTED
• PROBABLY ABDUCTED
• MISSING TIME CONFIRMED
• HUMANS WON’T BELIEVE YOU
• NOT ABDUCTED… YET
CLAIM YOUR FREE DIGITAL ABDUCTION CERTIFICATE
Your investigation does not have to end with the test.
Scan the QR code on your box, enter your details, and claim your official-looking Digital Abduction Certificate.
Your certificate may include:
• Your name
• Your reported close-encounter status
• An official-looking Alien DNA Test verification mark
• A memorable keepsake for your evidence file
[CERTIFICATE PORTAL COMING SOON]
ALIENS DON’T LIE.
TESTS DON’T EITHER.
TRUST THE STRIP.
TRUST THE TRUTH.
(MAYBE.)
GET YOUR ALIEN ABDUCTION TEST
The Alien Abduction Test is coming soon.
Join the investigation and be among the first to receive updates when the test becomes available.
[GET PRODUCT UPDATES]
IMPORTANT NOVELTY NOTICE
Alien Abduction Test is a novelty gag product for entertainment purposes only. It is not a medical device and is not intended for diagnosis, screening, treatment, or proof of alien contact.